Writing Action Scenes

The way I read an action scene is not the way I should write an action scene.

I tend to hurdle through the scene, hitting the top notes and every other chord. The intensity and speed of the thing compels me to read wildly fast—as if I have to keep up.

I miss the subtleties. The lower notes. The smells.

If you read action scenes like I do, I encourage you to go back later and read them s-l-o-w. Taste what the author has folded into the words to make each one count. To make you feel and hear and smell the action.



Don't forget the anticipation that is often just before an action scene. Dean Koontz is one of the best at this. If you haven't read him, pick up one of his books and experience a master.

For the build-up, I could write:

"Abby walked down to the end of the dark street."

I mean, that's what happened. Right? And we know it's whatever happens at the end of the street that matters most in this scene.

But what if I add an empty sack from a fast food restaurant skittering on the pavement? Clouds obscuring the moon and a distant roll of thunder. Palm fronds flapping. She smelled the rain on its way, layering over the cooking smells slipping out from the closely stacked frame and shingle houses that lined the street. The slap, slap of her shoes as they hit the ground. Goosebumps appearing on her exposed arms. Details heighten the mood. The anxiety. The terror.

And details will help to slow the action down—make the scene memorable—when she gets to the end of the street and meets who, or what, is waiting for her.




CR: The Siege by Stephen White.

It's all better with friends.

Connecting Markers

I had an aha! moment while beginning the read-through of my manuscript the other day. It began with me basically hating the thing and not being able to pinpoint why. If I was a reader, it would be a DNF (did not finish) and I wouldn't waste my time. A year ago, I would've stuck the entire thing in the drawer with the others and started a new one from scratch.

But I'm supposed to be someone approaching professional writer status. I needed to try and figure out the immediate problem (I'm sure there are others) and see if I could fix it.

Here's what I learned:

I tend to write in short scenes. To me, that moves the action and the story along.

As I began my read-through, none of the scenes had any connecting markers (my term—I'm sure there's something smarter) so they just looked like chunks of this and that piled on top of one another. A reader would give up before they could figure out what the scenes meant to each other—more importantly, what the characters meant to each other.

So, along with my fixing the stupid sentences, and deleting the inane ones, I'm adding bits that will connect the first scene to the second and vise-versa and hopefully on and on. Just a little. But my total word count has gone from 74,600 to 74,782. And I'm just beginning chapter two.

What do I mean by connecting marker?

Not to be confused with a segue between scenes, a connecting marker is a bit of information that relates the scenes in some manner.

My first scene opens with my male protagonist, Chase Waters, doing some extreme climbing on the side of a cliff in Colorado. The next scene is Chase's daughter being stalked, then in the next scene the female protag, Bond Waters, is called out on an EMT run, then . . . well, you get the idea. Pop, pop, pop. But when you read them there is next to no connecting tissue. No marker that helps a reader draw any kind of line.

So, what I did was have Chase think about his bookstore briefly during his climb. In the next scene, his daughter realizes her dad's bookstore is too far away to provide safe haven. Suddenly I have a connecting marker for the reader. Get the idea?

Writing these scenes separately, over and over, didn't provide the continuity (or lack thereof) the read-through is providing.

What have you discovered doing read-throughs?



CR: The Seige by Stephen White.

It's all better with friends.

Good is in the Detail

Generalities are scene killers.

Some mountains were ahead of them.

Whoa. Stop. This is where the novelist can combine chosen facts with the five senses. You don't need to hit your reader over the head with information, but selective details will help put them in the scene.

What do you see in this picture? What do you smell? How hard would it be to find out the name of a couple of those wild flowers? What's the name of the mountain range? From where, geographically are you standing? Can you hear the water falling ahead? Does any of the mist hit your face?

Which character is in this scene? Why? Are they wearing hiking boots (don't be afraid to name a brand) or are they in sandals with dirt and rocks making it painful to walk?

If your scene is important enough to be included in your story, it's important enough for a little detail. But make the detail, the paragraph, and the scene have consequence. Make something happen. Link the scene to the plot to the motivation to the character.

Have you ever skimmed paragraphs? I have. I think one reason is because I can't see anything in them that matters. Not enough detail gives me the impression the words and therefore the scene, aren't important. Too much detail that goes on and on, and I wonder if it's really necessary for me to read it all.

It's all better with friends.