Dream a Little for 2012

This post originally appeared at Meanderings and Muses, the wonderful blog of Kaye Barley. Because it's almost 2012, and a lot of people are thinking about what they want to accomplish next year, I thought I'd re-post it here.

Happy New Year.

DREAM A LITTLE

One day, I quit dreaming—and it took me over forty years to figure it out.

At some point, it became easier to turn my back on a dream, to let it fade, then to not be perfect each step on the way toward making that dream a reality. (Perfection is really a stupid concept, but that’s another topic.)

What I had, when I quit dreaming, were flat goals. Goals that belonged to other people. Goals I committed to for some reason: to keep my job; to make a loved one happy; because everyone else had a similar goal. They weren’t wrong, they just weren’t mine.

A few weeks ago, while writing my morning pages (if you haven’t read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, what are you waiting for?), I recognized the little girl who used to dream (with a certain amount of fearlessness) had stopped, and I began work to get her back.

I heard this as recently as last week: “Unless it’s specific, with a timeline, it’s not a goal. It’s just a dream.”

Just a dream.

A little belittling to dreams, if you ask me.

I’m not saying my life for forty years consisted of dull days and a series of tasks. Far from it. But I am saying I missed the richness—the possibility—dreams provide.

How do you keep a soul in your goals? Inspiration in your perspiration?

Dream.

I’ve decided a dream is a little like a new idea for a novel. I toss it around for a while. Turn it over. Is it something I can build a whole story around—a life around? If it feels good, grabs me, then I begin to plot it out. Or, for those of you are more of a “live life by the seat of your pants” kind of person, dive in until your dream begins to take shape. If the idea has staying power, it’s full speed ahead.

The best goals begin as dreams. The best dreams are your dreams. Dreams that fill your soul. They demand you go after them. It’s your pursuit that makes the dream stronger and turns it into (gasp!) a goal.

Before you kick yourself for not accomplishing everything on your list in 2011, consider whether those things were your goals or someone else’s. And before you begin to contemplate what you would like to have happen in 2012, dream a little.

CR: Just finished reading an ARC from Debbi Mack. It was terrific. Be looking for Riptide in February!

It's all better with friends.

What Do You Really Want? I Mean REALLY?

This is the time of year we all take stock. And for most of us, it's a mixed bag of disappointment and desire. A win here or there, for sure, but mostly, well . . . there's room for improvement.

I didn't finish that manuscript.

Budget? You've got to be kidding. My bank account has become meaningless in any financial strategy.

I want to be on the New York Time's Bestseller list and have Hollywood clambering for a nod from me.

And so usually, at this time of year, we suck up our failures and somehow convert them to ideals for the next year, because our dream hasn't changed. We search the cosmos for a place to hang our hat and try to convince ourselves the new place is the right place and something magical is bound to happen.

We've learned how to formulate our goals: they must be SMART. Specific. Measurable. Achievable. Realistic. Timely.

Can I just say one word for all of this rhetoric toward intense introspection? Blick.

I've really been thinking about this.

In fact, for the last couple of months, the little list of tasks I have on my desktop is a lot different than one you'd expect from someone who actuallly wants to accomplish something. It's focused less on things I must accomplish than on how I want to feel after the outcome of actions I take.

At the end of the day, every day, I want to feel good about myself. I want to feel I have taken a step toward validating my dreams. At the end of the day, every day, I want to feel I've made a difference. The details are supplements to those things, but Those Things are the end goal. Every 24 hours. I'm hoping that not only will they help me achieve my dreams, but that I'll become a better person in the process.

So what I'm suggesting you consider is for your plan for 2011 to be less specific and more intrinsic.

But whatever you choose, we'll work through the year together. We'll celebrate and commisserate. I'll be as open with you as I can about my process and progress.

And there's no question I won't tackle.

For each reader here, whether regular or happenstance, I wish you validation in whatever you pursue. And to know what you really, really want.



CR: Secrets to Die For by L.J. Sellers

It's all better with friends.

Goals for 2010

I learn more about goals every year. Here are some of the highlights. I'll also share a few of my goals with you, including what seems to be missing—and why.

If my goals are vague, it makes the end of the year review easy if I haven't really accomplished much; frustrating if I have.

• Employ the SMART goal methodology. Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic (but not too easy), Time accountable.

If I have fifty goals, there's a good chance I'll not accomplish all of them. And because there are so many, the ones that are really important to me are likely to get buried in the fluff.

• Limit the number of goals you establish for the year. Make sure they're important and not just something you'd do anyway. Anything over 15 is really pushing your luck.

My goals have to be in sync with my value system and each other. If I want to write five full-length manuscripts this year (gag me) AND have time with my husband, I'm setting myself up for conflict. And failure.

• Understand your personal value system. Prioritize using those God-led, gut feelings. Make sure your goals are yours and not those of someone you usually try to please. Take time to dig deep.

Pick a couple and make them public. There's nothing like accountability. I actually print mine out and put them in a frame. This year I have 9 goals. That's all. Just 9.

I also include a few key words to make my heart perk up and my intent clear—to me, if no one else.

In the interest of making things public, here's a bit:

• My words for 2010 . . . Confidence. Commitment. Sparkle.

• 5000 words/week on projects.

• Treadmill six days/week when home.

• Weekly dates with husband.

• Spanish Lessons three times/week when home.

What isn't included in my goals for this year are my study of craft. That's something I do on a regular basis. I'm drawn to craft books and magazines and courses like a magnet. There's no need to waste my goal agenda for something I will do without any nudging. If I say I'll read The Art of War for Writers by James Scott Bell, then why don't I include The Resilient Writer from Catherine Wald (both of which are on my desk at the moment)? And what about The Fire in Fiction by Donald Maass, or . . . you get the idea. These are things I will do without prompting.

The other thing that isn't a direct goal is my spiritual direction. The truth is I couldn't possibly take up more of God's time than I already do. We're in constant communication all day long, from the mundane to the intense. I couldn't have a better friend. There's no way I'm not gonna take care of that relationship.

So, there you have it. The only thing I could possibly add would be a goal for a certain number of rejections. Rejections mean I'm in the game, stepped off the curb, up to the top of my hip boots in a river. Hmmm . . . maybe I'll have an even 10 goals for 2010. Sounds right, doesn't it?

What are one or two of your goals for this year? I'd love to hear what they are.

CR: The Robert Crais.

It's all better with friends.

On the Ninth Day of Christmas . . .

Okay, so this is gonna sound weird . . . the gift of goal setting?

Blick.

I have to remember not to confuse goal setting with New Year's Resolutions. The latter are the things I break, the former the things I don't achieve.

Oops. Time for a mindset change, don't you think?

Actually, as I look back on my goals for 2008, I didn't do too bad. Definitely not great, but considering I'd hidden them out of sight sometime during the course of the year, I accidentally accomplished the spirit of a couple of them.

Does that count?

I went back and read what I'd posted last year about goal setting. Maybe I was smarter then, but I think it's possible I'm wiser now.

I think one of the purposes of goals is to inspire. Framed positively, they lift me up and help me believe things are possible.

Goals are dreams that are written down.

The trick comes with planning the action steps to realize those dreams. And you know what they say about getting a laugh out of God . . . tell Him your plans.

When I put my goals together last year, they were inspirational and even seemed reasonable. Then my mother went into the hospital on January 2nd and died on April 5th. What would have worked at one point in my life needed serious tweaking to work for the next point in my life.

I will set goals again. But I also plan on putting a reminder on my calendar every three months or so, to pull them out and review. I'll gauge my progress and see if any tweaking needs to be done. I want to keep me working toward my goals as long as my goals are working for me, and we're not going in disparate directions.



Still reading the Betsy Thornton.

It's all better with friends.

Goal Setting Without Fear

One of my favorite sayings is "It doesn't matter where you start out. What matters is where you end up."

Are you ready to plan your route to the finish line? Do you know what that looks like for you?

And what happens if you fail?

That's the simple question. Here's the simple (though not always easy) answer. You start over. You pick up where you left off. You change the idea of failure to one of education. You understand you're that much further ahead.

But what about setting goals in the first place?

Before I throw out some strategies to think about, think about this first: carefully consider that the goals you are setting are what you want to accomplish, not what someone else thinks you should accomplish. Do not set your goals based on the expectations of others, or just because they sound good.

Man, it took me forever to figure that one out. (I'm such an approval seeker--or at least I used to be.) Sheeshkabobalino.

Most of us have heard about SMART goals. This is a great tool to keep in mind when you're sitting down to start clarifying what you want to achieve. Make each goal as Specific as possible. Details. Make them Measurable. Quantify what you're going for. Think carefully about whether or not each goal is truly Achievable. Are they Reasonable? And are they Timely?

Here's where I think people can get tripped up--your goals must be consistent with your values--without conflict. Not only must you look at where your heart is, you need to understand what makes it tick. For example, if your heart is set on getting that huge promotion, but you value time with your family, you need to make sure you can accomplish both. If not, which are you willing to sacrifice? Conflict will surely impact both goals, and your quality of life will suffer.

Another piece is to strive for balance in your life. Set goals for all six areas: Family, Spiritual, Social, Career, Physical, Educational. Don't pump up one area at the expense of another--and don't forget to check for conflict.

When you write your goals down (and that in itself is important) write them in the positive rather than the negative. Our subconscious minds focus on the written word. Make it good. Rather than saying, "At the end of the year, I don't want to still be writing my novel", say "At the end of the year, I will have a completed novel ready to be shopped." And of course, be detailed. Even to the point of recording how you will FEEL when that happens.

Take an assessment. Check your heart--your values. And take a chance on writing down some goals for 2008. If you fail, you're no further behind, and maybe even a little ahead. But if you succeed? Zowie.

It's all better with friends.