Tuesday, March 12, 2013

When Someone Dies Suddenly

No, this isn't a plot point. It's a life point.

A friend of mine died suddenly on Sunday night. I think it was Sunday night. I can't remember much about the phone call I received this morning and I don't have any of the details.

I just know

she's gone.

In a blink.

Caron and I have had some pretty intense and deep conversations. Life issues (work, that drew us together to begin with; then an unfaithful spouse—hers not mine) followed by both religion and politics. Once we were no longer dependent financially, we were free to become connected spiritually. It would be a perfect world if every financial partnership included spiritual conversations, but ours did not. Once the financial pieces were behind us, a whole new world opened up. Complicated, but good.

It was liberating to have a relationship with someone where I could tell her she was way off base. Of course I always tried to do it diplomatically. From a place of love. And she responded back with the same love I threw at her.

Caron always excelled. If she wanted to be something—anything—she wanted to be the best. A musician? First chair in the orchestra. Loved animals? A vet. Sell real estate? Number one. Make money? Millions.

Then some tough lessons hit the fan. And because Caron was Caron, she had a really big fan.

One of the last conversations we had related to where she found herself at this point in her life. I think she finally got it when I told her she was in the perfect place. That everything that had happened had not been a mistake. Those things weren't against her, but for her. She fell completely apart and I knew she heard the words God was trying to send her through me.

Oh, God. I feel right now like I'm talking to her again. You know?  Right this minute. She's poked her lovely head in and I can hear her voice. She's sending me love vibes, the way only Caron could send them.

So here are my words to you. Take the time. Make the connections. Never walk away. Always be as honest and truthful as you can. Sometimes you have to throw off the detritus to get to the soul, but hey… we all have detritus. It's the soul that survives. It's the soul that understands and matters.

Caron/Karen Andrews/Richardson, child of God, you were perfect and beautiful. You are perfect and beautiful. You touched lives. You changed lives. I know you blessed mine. You were always exactly what I needed, even when I didn't think so.

It's all better with friends.


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a lovely woman.

    I recently lost a friend suddenly. She was only 40, and has four kids. The last time we spoke, she said, "I want to hear all about your life."
    I was in the middle of something and didn't have time. I said, "Oh, we'll catch up later."

    You are so right. We need to hold those we love tight and love every moment.

  2. Thanks for commenting.

    We received another call this morning. A sister of another friend stretched out on the sofa to rest. Her son found her.

    Things change forever in a split second.

  3. A very heartfelt post and lovely tribute to your friend, Peg. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

    I agree. Things can and do change forever in a split second. I try very hard to never take a single moment for granted. I don't always succeed, but I do try.