Show vs. Tell, Part 2

Several people who read my earlier post on this subject have asked for examples of showing and telling to see the difference--no pun intended. I'm happy to oblige.

Telling: Two happy dogs are running down the street.

Showing: Feet not touching terra firma, smiling faces turned to the sun, a blur of black and white fur tore past my eyes.


Showing: She took the child by the hand as they stepped of the curb.

Telling: She was a good mother.


Telling: He fidgeted.

Showing: Fingers beating on the countertop, punctuated by kicking feet, his gaze travelled between the door and the clock on the wall.

With showing, the picture is painted by you on a movie screen, action occurs, and the reader gets to draw their own conclusions. There are no voiceovers instructing the reader. They see it. Obviously, you hope they draw the conclusions and see the qualities you're going for. It's harder work than just telling, but more often than not, the result is worth it.

Bear in mind however, that just as all telling can be bland and non-interactive, all showing can be tedious. Pick and choose which method is going to propel your story forward. More often than not, showing will be the best option simply because it involves your reader more.

It's all better with friends.

Showing vs. Telling

Imagine a blank movie screen in front of you. A voice says, "The man is angry." That's telling. And lazy. And you're not involved. The screen is still sort of blank.

So how does a novelist "show" anger? We use words, not pictures on a screen.

Aha! Exactly! We paint with words. Show the man is angry by describing him in more detail. Are his fists clenched? Is his face tight? Eyebrows drawn together? What are the nonverbal clues?

By painting a word picture, using strong verbs, your reader is engaged in the scene. They "see" the man is angry for themselves. You don't have to tell them.

Telling isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's just something you don't want to do a lot of.

When I'm reading a book, I'm much happier as a participant--smack in the middle of a scene and feeling its power. I'm seeing what's going on rather than being told what's going on. I'm also able to feel more. Make sense?

Showing isn't easy, but I have to say, it is more fun. I try and go through and find any place in my "movie" that has a voiceover. That's a spot where I'm telling something maybe I could be showing.

And then, I get out my word paints.

It's all better with friends.