Wednesday Wisdom for Writers and Those Who Love Them

This is one of my all-time favorites:

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." —Anton Chekhov


Showing is more difficult to do then telling, but it is much more powerful. And while there is such a thing as too much showing and not enough telling, every writer should work hard to show the glint of light on broken glass to bring the reader into the scene.


It's all better with friends.

Show vs. Tell, Revisited by Request

One way to describe telling is to think of a voice-over announcer, someone off-camera who is providing information. Another is to consider a news broadcast where talking heads identify what's going on and provide a bottom line. Both of these situations give you the picture in a succinct manner.

Example of Telling: The cemetery was old and overgrown.

There is nothing wrong with telling when telling is what your story calls for.

Showing takes a little more thought and a lot more words (unless you're Dean Koontz). Showing is the drama of the scene. Drama rarely happens during an unbiased accounting of a news event, or through the voice of a professional announcer.

Drama is visual. Using drama gives readers a chance to come to their own conclusions.

The heavy air smelled of the crumbling decay of carved headstones and rotting foliage. A rusted gate, dangling from one hinge, mingled its plaintive cry with the wind. Ferrel cats stalked their domain in search of smaller, still living, creatures.

I hope there's a difference my reader can feel.

The emotions surrounding people are much easier to flesh out and show.

Example of Telling: The angry man stood in the doorway, threatening to act on his emotions.

Again, if the story calls for succinct in this particular spot, telling works.

He stood in the doorway, breath coming in forced stabs while he grabbed both sides of the jamb. Muscles radiated in a ripping motion through his arms when his hands loosened then tightened their grips. Wild eyes searched for his next target.

Telling is an announcer. Showing is drama. All drama and no telling is like all icing and no cake. It's a little too much.

But cake wihout icing? Boring.




Currently reading: Salvation in Death.

Working on: I have a new great word. Lacuna. From M-W: a blank space or a missing part: gap. Somehow this fits the current scene I'm struggling with. Only the lacuna is in my bichoking more than in my work. {sigh}

It's all better with friends.

Show vs. Tell, Part 2

Several people who read my earlier post on this subject have asked for examples of showing and telling to see the difference--no pun intended. I'm happy to oblige.

Telling: Two happy dogs are running down the street.

Showing: Feet not touching terra firma, smiling faces turned to the sun, a blur of black and white fur tore past my eyes.


Showing: She took the child by the hand as they stepped of the curb.

Telling: She was a good mother.


Telling: He fidgeted.

Showing: Fingers beating on the countertop, punctuated by kicking feet, his gaze travelled between the door and the clock on the wall.

With showing, the picture is painted by you on a movie screen, action occurs, and the reader gets to draw their own conclusions. There are no voiceovers instructing the reader. They see it. Obviously, you hope they draw the conclusions and see the qualities you're going for. It's harder work than just telling, but more often than not, the result is worth it.

Bear in mind however, that just as all telling can be bland and non-interactive, all showing can be tedious. Pick and choose which method is going to propel your story forward. More often than not, showing will be the best option simply because it involves your reader more.

It's all better with friends.

Showing vs. Telling

Imagine a blank movie screen in front of you. A voice says, "The man is angry." That's telling. And lazy. And you're not involved. The screen is still sort of blank.

So how does a novelist "show" anger? We use words, not pictures on a screen.

Aha! Exactly! We paint with words. Show the man is angry by describing him in more detail. Are his fists clenched? Is his face tight? Eyebrows drawn together? What are the nonverbal clues?

By painting a word picture, using strong verbs, your reader is engaged in the scene. They "see" the man is angry for themselves. You don't have to tell them.

Telling isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's just something you don't want to do a lot of.

When I'm reading a book, I'm much happier as a participant--smack in the middle of a scene and feeling its power. I'm seeing what's going on rather than being told what's going on. I'm also able to feel more. Make sense?

Showing isn't easy, but I have to say, it is more fun. I try and go through and find any place in my "movie" that has a voiceover. That's a spot where I'm telling something maybe I could be showing.

And then, I get out my word paints.

It's all better with friends.